Family Bonding Time
by Emmykinz
Summary: Nothing will be the same. Literally. How long will it take until the one or all of the Cullen's truly snap at Emmett's bad jokes, unfanny humor, bad games, and 'brilliant ideas'. --Set after New Moon, Edward's POV, R & R--
1. Time of the Month

**Okay, here's the first chapter!**

**I had tons of fun writing this, and hope you guys enjoy(:**

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**EPOV:**

I sighed to myself, quiet enough for Emmett not to hear. It was Tuesday. The second Tuesday of the month. It was Emmett and I's day to bond. Or, as Emmett liked to call it, 'The E Brotha's Bonding time', or my very favoirte; 'Eddy and Emmy's Time of the Month'. Oh god.

Emmett was already waiting out in the M3 for me, insisting we take Rosalie's car, _so he wouldn't miss her as much_.  
I unfortunately had to leave Bella alone with the rest of my family. Poor Bella. Well, I guess without Emmett, it wouldn't be half as bad.

I sighed again, then quickly kissed her lightly on the lips, always wanting more, but aware of our watching audience.

"Have fun!" she joked, knowing the next few hours would be pure hell for me.

Three obnoxious honks came from the garage. I rolled my eyes, and Jasper quietly chuckled to himself. _His_ _day_ with Emmett, wasn't for another three weeks. Jasper made no attempt to calm me, which I found terribly frusturating. Seriously, what happened to 'Family's stick together'?

Alice already had Bella up in her room ready for some kind of makeover. Poor Bella. Though I was curious to see what Alice would do with her this time, always pleased with the makeovers that she gave Bella. I headed for the door, in a slow human pace, realizing there was nothing more for me to do here, and that I might as well get it over with.

Before I opened the door, I looked back at them with pleading eyes. Rose snickered at me.

"Ohhhh EDDYKINZ!" Emmett shouted in an annoying high-pitched tone. "Eddy Come ONNNNN!"

Ugh. Eddykinz. Seriouly though, I have to blame Bella for that one. Ever since about a week ago while Bella was sleeping over, she was overly-talking in her sleep, and it may have accidentally slipped out a couple of times. Of course Emmett heard it, and I don't think I'll ever hear the end of it.

I shook my head and got in the passenger's side.

"Emmett?" I asked him irritated, trying to even up the score. "You do know this is a girl car, right?"

He paused.

_It may be a girl's car. . .But damn do I look good driving it!_

"Ugh!" I moaned, immediately shutting out his thoughts. Rosalie had deffinately been rubbing off on him.

I slouched down in my seat, knowing it would be a _long_ trip.

There were three times that I was absolutely positive I was going to kill Emmett.

First, Emmett was only beginning to get on my nerves when he told me a story about his old dog Kippers, who apparenly liked to eat goldfish. That one went on forever.

Second, this time there was a part of me, and I didn't know how dominant that part might be, that wished him to go die in a hole. This was the time when he went off rode onto a farm- He drove into the cow pasture, knocking over all the cows like dominos with the car, hoopin' and hollorin' the whole time.

And third, I knew that I would unconditionally, unintentionally end up ripping his head off. Once we got into town and had to slow down to the limits, he cranked the radio up _as loud as it would go_. He rolled the window's down as well, playing his very favorite song. _Sexyback_. I mean, of course that's Emmett's favorite song, why wouldn't it be?! I slouched down in my seat even more as he began to dance. Girls were whistling from across the street at the stop light. Trust me, if I could blush, I would have been. And not in a good way. Their thoughts were so explicit, I threw my hands up to massage my temples. The images were _that_ bad. I suddenly wondered if that's how Bella thought. I shook off the thought though right away, knowing that would not be something Bella would do.

"Shawty Shawty White Boy!" One whisteld. Emmett winked at her. See, that was the difference between me and him. He actually _liked_ this kind of stuff. But, of course, that was Emmett for you.

Wait a minute. . .I thought Emmett was suppose to be the scary one. . .Oh god, what was he doing now?

He had his hand up to his ear like he was holding a cell phone, as in 'call me'. Rose wouldn't be to happy with that one.

I leaned over and slapped him.

The light turned green, and he slammed on the gass peddle, very annoyed now.

"Some guys just walk in the light," he murmured to himself under his breath.

_Well, at least he's got somewhat of a personality since Bella's came. I'm not sure what you would've called it before. And now at least we know he's not gay. That's a relief. I know Esme was getting worried_. . .

That, did me in. I threw open the car door, and Emmett slammed on the breaks.

"What?" He asked, with an all-to-innocent look on his face.

"I will meet you there Emmett," I hissed through my clenched teeth. "I'd rather walk if you don't mind."

He shrugged.

"Suit yourselft."

"Oh," I assured him. "It suits me."

As soon as I shut the door, he really hit the gass, and rolled down his windows again. This time, he was playing _Untouched_ by the Veronicas. Ugh. I highly doubted he even knew what it meant. I bet knowing that, that _is _what it meant, he probably wouldn't like it at all. I smirked to myself about the talk I was going to have with Emmett later about simple meanings and terms 101.

I walked slowly along side the road, dreading where I was going, and wondered about what Bella was doing. I almost called her a couple of times, but I knew that only make me more depressed and want to go back home. Emmett was pissed enough already.

I declined the many rides that were offered to me on my way there. Unsurprisingly, they were all overly-friendly females. After I rejected, all of them gave me their numbers anyway. I wasn't mean enough to crumple their self-esteem though, so I simply told them I was meeting my wife somewhere.

I chuckled to myself darkly. Bella hadn't decided to marry me. _Yet_. But I couldn't help but call her my wife while I was out in public without her.

I knew she would hate that I was doing it behind her back, but was it really that bad? I still hadn't figured out why she wouldn't marry me, and that scared me.

When I finally arrived at _the mall_-Yuck. For some reason, Emmett had this strange addiction to shopping. . .I don't even want to know what brought that on, or want to know,- I found Emmett bouncing up and down on his tip- toes waving to me and calling my name like he was a five year old. _So_ immature.

Emmett had what I like to call 'Peter Pan Syndrome'; He refused to grow up. I sighed, knowing that was probably the reason I loved him so much. As much as I probably will regret thinking this later, he's deffinately the best brother anyone could have. Sorry Jazz.

"Edward!" He called, still jumping up and down. Some girls giggled when they walked by as I approached him.

"Finally!" He yelled into my ear, giving me a great big hug.

Some guys whistled as they walked by us. "Ooooh, comin' outta the closet, 'eh boys?"

Emmett's face had them immediately running towards there car. That was the one thing I was jealous of him for. He deffinately knew of a few tricks for scaring humans.

"So," he asked excitedly as we walked in. "Where should we go first?"

Every human within 50 feet of us, froze for a breif second to take us in. A reflex reaction we got from all humans. Some eyes widened, either from fear or attraction. For the males, it was mostly fear and envy. For the females, it was _always_ attraction.

"I was thinkin' Edward. . ." Emmett began, waving to some pass-byers as we sat down at a table. We would always sit down and discus game plan before we began to shop. Shopping deffinately wasn't for guys, but Emmett certainly made it interesting. "I was thinking that I wanted to get Bella a puppy!"

"A puppy, Em?" I asked, starting to question his sanity.

"Sure!" he laughed. "She seems like a dog kinda gal!"

I just looked at him and shook my head. "No, Em."

"Hmph," he said snobbishly. "_I'm_ getting her a puppy. Plus, I wanna make her like me more!. . .I don't know, it just seems like everytime I'm around her. . .she just seems. . .annoyed. . ."

I gasped, full of sarcasm. "Really? Who would have thought. _You_, annoying?"

"I know right? I just don't get it."

_Someone gets me atleast. At least Edward understands what I'm talking about._

I rolled my eyes, knowing that he didn't get that I was kidding before.

"What are you gonna get Bella?" He asked obnoxiously.

_Bet he can't top a puppy,_ He thought smugly.

"Bella has issues with gifts from me," I told him curtly. I still hadn't figured out what her problem was about that yet.

He snikered. Sure, Rose had no problem with presents.

"_I_ think you should get her something." He urged me.

"Yes, I know what you think Emmett!" I hissed at him, then tapped my finger to my head irritated.

"Well don't worry about it," He told me, patting me on the back as he stood up. "I'll help you."

I growled under my breath. Did I really need Emmett's help picking out a gift for Bella? No, no I didn't. I guess my only option was to go along with it and humor him.

_Yay! Yay! This is gonna be soooooo much fun! Yay!_

Now, I was really beginning to get concerned. Emmett was the tough, strong one. This had me a slight bit worried.

We went into a few stores already and I learned three new things about Emmett:

First, pink was _not_ his color. No matter what the shade was, pink was deffinately out.

Second, Emmett is a winter. He's for sure, not a summer. Although, I think he should have already known it due to the fact of our unnaturally pale skin, and un-normal body temperatures!

And third, Emmett was very sensitive when you brought up his weight. That one should've surprised me I guess, but it didn't.

He was trying on a sweatsuit for our next baseball game. It was easily the most horendous thing he'd tried on so far, though I didn't come out and say it like I should have. Instead, I think I made things worse.

He had it on and walked out, spinning all around so I could see it at every angle. Trust me, one was enough.

"Uh, Em?" I asked warily, as I shook my head. "That color doesn't go well with your skin. . .And the pants, well, they kind of make your thighs look big."

He looked up at me, eyes getting real big. If he could cry, no doubt in my mind would he be crying right now. He stuck his bottom lip out just a bit, and it was trembling.

"Really?" His voice cracked. "Do you really mean that?"

For some reason, I instantally wanted to comfort him. He was a big teddy bear after all.

"I'm sorry, Emmett," I apologized. "That was mean. I shouldn't have said that."

_Damn, I really liked that one too._

"It's okay Edward, at least you were being honest. Now I know not to buy it," he grinned weakly. I could tell he was still upset though. I'd make it up to him the rest of the trip.

I desperately tried to avoid any stores near Victoria's Secret. I knew that avoiding it was inevidable though, Emmett always found a way. What was he buying there anyways for cryin' out loud?

I refused to go in with him though. Nothing on the planet could have brought me into that store. . .Except Bella of course, but that was a different story. I sat on a bench outside the store for about a half hour till he finally came out with two huge bags in his hands and a huge smile across his face.

I looked at him puzzled, then stood up and was about to say something until I was interupted.

"Hello! I'm Cathy, the manager of Victoria's Secret!" An overly-happy strawberry blonde practically sang to us. She was mainly talking to me, though Emmett was the one listening, not me.

"We would like to extend our hand to _you_. And reach out to you, for you to take a job as our top male models! You two are just buckets of the sun!"

I chuckled. Interesting way of phrasing it. We were anything but that. Buckets of the sun? And I thought in my hundred years I had heard some bizzare stuff. That deffinately made my top ten. I started to shake my head but Emmett cut in.

"Why yes, we would love to!" His face lit up. "Tell us what to do, we'll even do some pictures right now!" He told her, smugly turning to look at me.

_Hah. This will get him back for before. That'll teach 'em not to mess with Emmer's weight,_ He thought smugly.

What the hell? That's what this was about? And seriously, _Emmers_? I almost screamed out loud. I couldn't protest though, since apparently, Emmett was already signing some contract, _for the both of us_.

"Lovely!" Cathy cried, pulling us back into the store. Shoppers looked at us with shocked eyes, and started walking towards us. I tried pulling away as gentally as I could, without showing any hint of my inhuman strength.

". . .Wait. . ." She didn't hear me.

"I'm am going to kill you Emmett. When we get home, _you will die_," I hissed in his ear, too low for anyone else to hear my death threats.

I looked into Cathy's thoughts for a second and instantally regretted it. She was already picturing what she would put us in. The possibilities were endless, and horrifing. I hope Emmett relized that he had to do this too.

This was easily the most embaressing time of my life. It wasn't just the fact that every single female in the mall came to watch us, it also wasn't the clothes I was wearing, or the fact that I was half naked. It was because these pictures would most deffinately be _all over_. Bella would see these pictures.

Cathy was already calling up all her agents and bosses telling her about her find. I don't even think that what Emmett and I had on would be classified with actual _clothes_. What guy in the name of all that was holy would wear these?

I refused to pose with Emmett, I refused to smile, and I refused to do anything in that nature. They basically were just snapping shots of me, making me feel like I was getting my mug shots done. Emmett, of course, was loving every minute of this. _Flaunting his goodies_, as he called it. Disgusting.

Girls watching were taking cell phone pictures, and ooohing and awwwwwing. Ick, it didn't help that I was somewhat self-concious of my body. I was only wearing underwear after all.

A few times, I actually thought about just killing everybody in the store. It did sound like fun at the time, but Carlisle would most deffinately not approve, though I know Emmett would have found it to be a fun idea.

_Rose is gonna love these._ Emmett was thinking. I actually felt bad for Rosalie.

After they finally let us go, as we were walking out the door _again_, something dawned on me.

"Wait, you guys don't even have a men's line," I told Cathy, my eyes narrowing.

She laughed her high-pitched laugh and put her hand on my chest. I cringed away.

"You guys _inspired_ us." She smiled, clearly trying to hard to be flirty.

. . .If they didn't have a men's line, where did they get-. . . .Oh god, Please no. Emmett and I were _not_ just wearing girl's underwear.

I was already storming away.

"It was an honnor," I heard Emmett say, shaking her hand then running after me.

When he caught up, I turned to glare at him.

_He's just jealous because I got more meat on me. He wishes he had my abs. He shouldn't be complaining though, he's got great legs. . ._ He was thinking.

Um, AWKWARD much?

"What?" He asked innocently. "That was fun."

I just shook my head and continued to glower at him.

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	2. Mr Java Bean

**ANYWAYS, I hope you guys like this chapter; Once again, I had SO much fun writing this. Gotta love Emmett!**

**Currently rated T, but it probably should be K+, there's really only a bit of 'mature language'**

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**So, here's the next chapter, and don't worry, this is NOT the end. I have much more to write.**

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He tugged on my hand and stopped us as we walked by the pet store.

"You cannot be serious Em," I hissed at him.

"You better believe that I am %100 serious, Ed."

_What does the man have against puppies for cryin' out loud?!_ He questioned in his head.

I gave a long, exasperated sigh then walked into the store with him. I actually wasn't sure if Bella had wanted a dog. I had never really thought to ask her, and she never brought it up. So, I was really just going on the assumption that she did want one, and if she didn't well. . .better Emmett get her one than me.

Emmett had his face pressed up against the glass cage of one of the ugliest dogs I had ever seen.

He waved me to come over and join him.

"This one is _so_ cute Eddy!" He giggled.

I sighed.

"Emmett," I said coldly. "What did we talk about calling me Eddy?"

He smirked, and tried to hide another laugh.

"Well, I wanna get her this one. This one is like my old dog, Kippers. I told you about him right?"

"Yes!" I answered too quickly, not wanting him to start _that_ story all over again. Hearing it once was enough to make me want to boil my ears off.

Emmett gladly agreed to purchase the absurdly ugly looking dog. Trust me, _I_ wasn't paying for that thing.

_Bella's gonna love me, Bella's gonna love me, Bella's gonna love me. . ._

He kept thinking in his head over and over.

"You sure about that?" I murmured under my breath, too low for him to hear.

He was carrying it around the store in this ridiculous 'guy bag' as he called it. It was a purse. I tried telling him that, but he insisted on having _Hootsies_, have it's own little 'spot to sit'. He was still deciding on the name of that damn dog. Really, the list went on, _and on_. Some he had already suggested did make me laugh, though I don't think that was intentionally.

"How's Lil' Emmers doin'?" He cooed to Bella's new dog. Great. If I wasn't careful, I'd end up eating the damn thing.

"You can't be serious," I told him stopping. "_Lil' Emmers_? I thought you just said it's name was Hootsies!? And I flat out refuse to let you name that dog after you. I don't care what Bella says, _I won't let her._"

His face fell a slight bit.

"Fine," he said curtly. "Name it after yourself then! _E-d-w-e-i-r-d-n-e-s-s_!"

I glared at him. He stopped laughing.

"Alright, alright, I'm still working on the whole name thing. . ." He froze right while we were walking past a Caribbu Coffee.

A smile slowly spread across his face. I heard what he was thinking before he said it and groaned.

"Mr. Java Bean!" He yelled. Everyone turned to stare at us, and I kicked his foot. He had to watch his voice volumage more.

"Have you ever even _drinken_ coffee before Emmett?" I hissed through my teeth. "Really, where'd you get the inspiration?"

I couldn't even tell what he was thinking. His thoughts were off god-knows-where!

He was in a daze, and he suddenly snapped out of it.

"Did you know. . ." he paused, looking off into space again. "I once drank this _amazing_ coffee before."

I looked at him in disbelief. I wondered if he'd been dropped a lot when he was a baby. His mother _was_ an alcoholic though. . .and his father was a circus clown, so I suppose anything _was_ possible.

"Well, this coffee that I had this one time. . .It was amazing. . ." He sighed and slumped down into a bench near by.

I refused to sit next to him, refused to let people know that I came here with him.

"Alright, the coffee was _amazing_, I get it, yeah, you already said it." I told him, irritated.

"No Ed," He cut me off. His voice still dazed and full of awe. "This wasn't just _coffee_, this was am-"

"I'm going to loose it if you say amazing coffee again, damn it Emmett!"

He cringed back a little, hurt by my hostaliy. I didn't care, as long as I found out was his problem was.

"Fine, fine, just let me explain though. . ." He paused, and stared off into space, _again_.

I put my hand up to cover my face and shook my head. I sat down next to Emmett on the bench, realizing I'd have to get this story out of the way eventually.

"Go on with it then Emmett," I encouraged.

"Well, this coffee. . .Let me tell you, I was never a coffee drinker in my life, but boy oh boy Edward, this coffee was something. . ."

What the hell was he talking about?

"Alright Em, your going to need to finish explaining the story, I'm not following you."

"Ok Edward, don't laugh at me?" He asked, I mashed my lips in a hard line, supressing a smile. I knew I'd laugh. He did too.

_Stupid, no good mind-reading abilities. . .I wonder how Bella keeps him out all the time. . ._

I cleared my throat for him to continue.

"When I was 13. . .I was 13 years old and. . ." He stopped.

"Yes Emmett, you were thirteen, and?" I gritted through my clenched teeth.

"I met this girl named Sally when I was 13. She was amazing. She was my very first girlfriend, and all the other guys were jealous of me," He sighed. "Sally always smelt like peppermint. . ." He said, licking his lips.

"For god's sake Emmett, you don't even like peppermint! Get on with the story!" I yelled at him, raising my voice a bit to much.

_Cullen's on crack._ I heard a boy from school think as he walked by. Great.

"Well Edward," He glared at me. "I actually _did_ like peppermint. Now you know what I prefer more."

He grinned evily.

"Emmett, so help me, if you do not just tell me the damn story I will shove that dog up your. . ." I growled, gesturing towards Mr. Coffee Face, or whatever.

I couldn't let me temper get me like this. I had learned many times that you had to be patient with Emmett when he was recapping things in his human life.

"So, anyways, as you know, my dad was a professional preformer. . ."

"Circus clown!" I coughed.

He looked at me irritated, and kept going.

"So, my dad, he had this friend, and she was also I professional preformer an-"

"Circus clown!" I coughed again, not being able to help myself.

I crossed his arms over his chest, tilting his chin up and looking away.

_I won't even tell him if he's gonna make fun of me like this. I changed my mind, ever since he's meet Bella, he's became a big meany head! Yeah, I actually wish he would have been gay instead. Rather have him hittin' on my than dissin' on me!_

Ugh. I shot him a disgusted look, though he didn't see it. Some times I think he forgot about the whole 'me-being-able-to-hear-his-thoughts-thing.

I kept staring at him until he finally looked at me. He was puzzled at first by why I was staring at him like that, and than his eyes widened in realization.

"Oh. . .right. . .you heard that?" He scooted away from me just a bit.

I nodded, continuing to glare at him.

"Would you like me to finish?" he asked smugly.

I just nodded again, worried that I wouldn't be able to keep my voice down any longer.

"Ok so, my dad's friend named Patty, she absolutely hated me for some reason. . .but one day, my dad was having a party with all his co-workers, and she 'accidentally' spilt this coffee on me. I was disgusted, and was about to go wash it out, but then I smelt it. . .and It. Was. Amazing. . .Kinda like human blood. I wore that shirt around the whole next month, never taking it off to worried about the smell fading. . ."

I cut him off. This was the absolute dumbest story I had ever heard.

"Wait, Emmett?" I asked, suddenly _very_ annoyed with him. "What the hell did Sally have to do with any of this?!"

He tilted his head to the side then thought about it a little.

"Huh, I guess it was a pretty insagnificant part of the story. . ."

I didn't wait for him to finish. I was already storming to the car. He was only a couple paces behind me. Our shopping trip, was officially _over_.

"Wait Edward!" Emmett called from behind me as I got in the car and started to pull out. I sighed in frustration then stopped, knowing I couldn't _not _give him a ride home. Plus he had that stupid coffee dog with him

"Edward, I'm sorry! I just get distracted sometimes. . ." He trailed off. I heard his thoughts.

"Stop thinking about Sally!" I scolded him as he got in the car, "Sally. Is. Dead!"

His jaw fell wide open.

"What's got your panties in a knot?" He asked me suspiciously.

I growled at him, he put his hands up and slided further away from me in the passengers seat.

"Must be that time of the month. . ." I heard him grumble to himself. Boy was he stupid today! Did he also forget that vampires have super-good hearing? I mean, him being a vampire and all! Ugh. I would never live this day down.

I leaned over in the seat and slapped him, except he dodged me and I missed and hit that dumb dog. It whimpered and cowarded against the side door. I couldn't help but let out a low chuckle. Having that thing around would certainly be an entertainment to our family. I already knew Alice would love it, chances were, she had already seen it coming.

Emmett stroked the back of the Mr. Java Bean's head.

"Shhh, it's okay, Daddy won't let the mean man hurt you," He glared at me. The dog whimpered again.

"I thought it was Bella's dog?" I asked casually.

"Oh, it is, I just consider myself the adopted father since you don't seem to give a damn about poor Java Bean over here."

"Really?" I asked obviously, through my clenched teeth. "What gave it away?"

He continued to pet the dog as we drove in silence. He would also continuously coo at it like it was a newborn baby. I really wish that Port Angeles wasn't as far away. I had another 20 minutes minimun with him.

"I wuv you, oh yes I do," He cooed. "You love me to, don't cha Mr. Java, don't cha?"

I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"Emmett, that thing is terrified of you," I told him bitterly.

He let out a louder-then-nessecary gasp. "What?!"

"Plus, that's the ugliest dog I've ever seen," I added.

Emmett put his hands over the dog's ears.

"Shhhh, don't talk like that in front of him!" He hissed.

I glared at him and the dog, and let out an unintelligable string of profanities. Emmett stared at me with wide eyes, covering the stupid dog's ears even more.

"Ed-ward! I am apalled by your sailor's talk!" He scolded me, holding Java close to his chest. "You are setting a horrible example for Mr. Java Bean! He's just a baby!" He cooed some more at the dog.

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	3. A Surprise

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hat was, the longest car ride of my life. Emmett insisted on parking the car far enough away so that Bella wouldn't run out and see the dog right away. I'm not sure what the difference would be anyway, I was sure Alice had already told her.

I was suddenly anxious to see Bella. More anxious than normal since I was _always_ anxious to see her. I was already imagining our reunion. It'd be sweet. I'd kiss her then compliment her on how beautiful she was, then she'd blush and her face would be that lovely cream and roses color.

Thanks to Emmett, that would all be ruined. I hope Bella hated that damn dog and she ordered Emmett away. I could always tell him she was alergic. That way I wouldn't hurt his feelings, though I was all set on that idea.

Going with Emmett's plan, we 'tip-toed' to the house. Emmett had the Mr. Java hidden in his 'guy bag', still hadn't convinced him it was a purse quite yet though. He also had an envelope with the Victoria's Secret photo shoot. I was planning on ripping them up the first oportunity I saw. No one in my family would let me forget it. Especially Bella. I shuddered.

"You okay, Ed?" Emmett asked, concerned. Why was he concerned with my well-being? Shouldn't he be the one checked into a mental institution?  
I nodded. It was a perfect opportunity to snag the photos from him. He wasn't looking right now, the perfect time.

I took a deep breath, and then lunged for him. Of course, him being the strongest vampire I've ever met, he instantally shoved me out of the way. He also had pretty fast reflexes, I had to give him that.

"Edward!" He shouted, hiding behind a tree. "How dare you try and take our beautiful pictures! When it's your turn to hold them, you can see them!"

All respect I've ever had for Emmett, that was gone. I growled at him and got down in a crouch, about to spring and tear that tree down and Emmett with it.

He peaked his head out from behind the tree, seeing my tense posture and knowing what my intentions were. He away, waving his hands in the air.

"No need to break down another tree, Esme will be annoyed," He said trying to make an excuse.

"Emmett," I hissed menacingly. "Give me, those damn pictures!" Each word was seperated for more of threat.

He stuck his tongue out at me like a child, then shoved the envelope down his pants.

"If you want them," he taunted. "Come and get them," He grinned evily at me.

He was such a cheater! He knew that'd be the one thing I would never do. I gave him a cold look and stomped off towards the house. I was never _ever_ touching those pictures. Hmm. . .maybe I'd ask Rosalie.

"She's gonna be so surprised!" Emmett called after me. He _still_ had that damn dog. After everything! I couldn't believe it.

I needed to get to Bella as soon as possible. I knew seeing her face would instantally calm me, and take all the stress from today's day away. That idea right there already had me sprinting.

I reached the house in record time, probably due to my irritation. No one was in the living room though, nor the kitchen. I got a little tense until I heard a steady heart beat coming from upstairs. I instantally relaxed. I was about to go upstairs and check on her, but Alice was at the bottom of the stairs in a flash, putting her hands out to the side, guarding the way upstairs. She glared at me.

_ZYXWVUTSRQ. . ._

"Alice, what are you doing, why are you trying to keep me out?" I asked irritated. It suddenly dawned on me. No one was in the house besides her and Bella. That was only nessecary to keep their thoughts safe, except for Alice, who was very good at keeping me out. They only did this when they were keeping a secret though. . .

"I'm home!" Emmett ran in the door, purse in one hand, other in his pants. God, I did not even want to know what he was doing. He read my expression and quickly explained in his thoughts.

_Easy Ed, I was just diggin' out the pictures. I wanna show Rose!_

I hissed at him and he smirked at me.

"I'm gonna go and find Rose," he shouted as he ran out the back door. "Tell me when Bella's ready for her surprise!"

"Surprise?" I heard Bella call from upstairs. Her voice sounded excited, and her heart rate sped up. Odd, she normally hated surprises. I wondered if this had anything to do with what Alice and the others were keeping from me.

"Don't come down," Alice called back up to her. "I'll tell you in a minute!"

Alice turned to flash an evil smile at me.

_Say what you need to say, just say what you need to say. Oh, say what you need to say._

"Gah!" I cringed, covering my ears. Pretty useless effort, though _anything_ to get that song out of my head. Alice knew that I loved music, and she knew that the one song I couldn't stand was _that_.

I was glaring at her. This was most deffinately not my day.

"Alice," I sighed frusturated. "I have had a very long day." I gestured to the outside window where Emmett was rolling around the grass with the dog.

She snickered. "I didn't know Bella wanted a dog?"

"Alice," I repeated. "Do not test my sanity. Just _please_ can I go and see Bella? I think that's the only thing that will keep me from burning Emmett to pieces."

She laughed mockingly.

"Oooh, that bad?" She taunted. "Trust me, your patience will be rewarded. Give me a few more minutes."

I pleaded her with my eyes that she would give into my request. I could hear that she wasn't going to, so I slumped down into the couch and flipped on the TV. She sprinted back up stairs and was whispering to Bella low enough so that I couldn't hear. This got me very anxious.

There was a note to the side of the DVD cabinet, I got up to read it.

Titanic's on tonight on HBO. You all better be here to watch it. You know it's my favorite movie, and It's family movie night! Trust me, you'll regret it if you don't. (That means you Jasper)

Love, Emmett~

I think Jasper most deffinately did learn his lesson last time he tried skipping out on family movie night. Let's just say, Emmett has his ways.

Well, it wouldn't be that bad since I'd be with Bella. Then again, it'd be worse because I'd be with Emmett as well. Plus, I've most deffinately had my share of that movie. I was alive when it happened, and Carlisle's friend was even on it! I didn't think it was nessacary to watch it _again_.

I heard Rosalie outside with Emmett.

"What the hell it_ that_?" She sounded disgusted.

"I picked it out all by myself," He claimed proudly. "This is Mr. Java Bean, Bella's new doggie!"

_Mr. Wha??_

I was already out in the yard next to Rose. Emmett was still on the ground with Java.

"Do not ask him _why_ he named it that please," I hissed in her ear. She would deffinately thank me later.

She gave me a confused look.

"Trust me," I murmured.

We stood there watching Emmett for a while in silence. Rose was doing a pretty good job of blocking her thoughts.

"Uh, Emmett?" She asked, worried. "Let's go on a hike or something, you can bring Coffee-Face if you want."

I gave her a look. She had to leave because she was beginning to slip with her thoughts.

"Ugh! I wish you guys would call the poor thing by its name!" Emmett groaned as he sat up. "I don't think Bella would appreciate you making fun of her dog. It's MR. JAVA BEAN!"

Rosalie rolled her eyes and put her arm around his shoulder, then they were heading off in a different direction. Emmett left that stupid dog. I suddenly had a brilliant idea.

I leaned down to Mr. Java so we were face to face.

"Run!" I whispered urgentally, feeling a little stupid talking to an animal. Ok, feeling _a lot_ stupid. I wondered how Emmett kept his dignity.

It took one look and scampered off. Emmett could only blame himself for that one.

"Edward!" Alice called from inside.

My head snapped up. Was I finally able to see my Bella? I ran in the house, not even looking where I was going and ran straight into Esme's coffee table. It was glass, so it shattered into a million pieces. I'd have to clean that up later, but not right now. I needed to see Bella.

Alice was at the bottom of the stairs again with her arms crossed over her chest and a very strong look of disproval. She was also tapping her foot.

"Esme liked that one you know?" She said, gesturing her head towards the shattered glass in the living room.

I sighed.

"Alice, do I finally get to find out what all of this is ab-" I immediately froze in the middle of my sentance. I also couldn't help from having my jaw drop down to the ground. I owed Alice for the rest of my exsistance for this one. . .

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	4. Hottub

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Bella stood at the top of the stairs, slowly starting to walk down. Her cheeks were the brightest shade of pink that I've ever seen them, also the most beautiful shade. She had a small amount of make-up applied as well, that brought out her facial features in the most amazing way you could imagine. Her lashes were thick and luxurious, and they were looking at the ground. She was embaressed.

She had on a deep blue colored swimsuit which was a bikini. It was _very_ skimpy, though I was not in the slightest bit complaining. I was more shocked that Alice got it on her.

The blue of the swimsuit highlighted every aspect of her body perfectly. She had on high but-not-too-high heels. She looked stunning. If I had a heart beat, it would be going a million miles an hour, just like hers. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, and will ever see. I couldn't help but gapping a little.

_Knew it'd be perfect._ Alice thought smugly to herself.

I quick turned to her and mouthed a _Thank you. _I couldn't help the huge smile that was slowly spreading across my face. I looked directly at Bella's eyes until they finally met mine. When she saw my facial expression, she was immediately less self-conscious and her eyes lit up. She slowly made her way down the stairs but I wasn't having that.

I ran to her in inhuman speed and swept her up in my arms and carried her down. I set her down on her feet, not releasing her yet, and brought her into the tightest, most adoring hug I'd ever given her without harming her. I took her face in my hands and held it there for a while. Staring into her creamy-chocolate brown eyes. That were so warm, they melted my frozen heart.

I leaned in, intending to kiss her, when to hands suddenly were in my face shoving it back. Alice. I growled at her and she hissed right back at me.

"Lip gloss!" She reminded me, irritated.

I settled for the hollow base of her throat.

_Get a room. . .Jeeesh, if I'd of known he would have reacted like this I would have put her in a turtleneck!_

Alice cleared her throat, getting impatient. I released Bella's face and snaked one of my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me. The warmth of her body was incredible.

"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," I whispered into her ear. She shivered, than rolled her eyes. How could she not see how beautiful she was? She still didn't see her self clearly, after everything I've told her. I was going to have to work on that.

"Yeah, yeah, she's beautiful," Alice said curtly. "You're beautiful too, and I know _I'm_ beautiful, but can we get on with it?"

"On with what?" I asked teasingly. "Wasn't this the surprise?"

I kissed the top of her head, inhaling her scent. If I was a human, strawberries would be my very favorite food of all time. I sighed, if only.

"You'll have all the time in the world to do whatever you want to do Edward," Alice hissed. "Can I puh-lease just show you the surprise?"

I gasped sarcastically.

"For me?!"

She glared at me and slapped me. I guess I had that one coming. Bella looked up to make sure if I was okay. I nodded before I could answer. Why did she always have to worry about me?

_Damn. Emmett's wearin' off on him. Oh boy, that's all we need, another Emmett. . ._

I chuckled but then was instantally serious. I really had to get my act together if I was beginning to act like _Emmett_.

"It's actually for all of us Edward," Alice said, smug with herself about something. "You're just the only one who it's going to be a surprise for since everyone else already knows!"

Bella giggled at my side. I turned to look at her and cocked my head to the side.

"You know about this too?"

She smiled and nodded.

"Ok, now if we are _finally_ done talking, can we go now?" Alice grumbled.

I turned to smile at her.

"Sure Alice, whatever you want." I did owe her, I remembered.

She seemed to get over her sour mood, and was beaming. Something in her thoughts must have cheered her up, though I couldn't tell because she was still keeping her thoughts busy well.

"Okay, Bella?" She asked, smiling politely at her. "You're going to need to crawl up onto Edward's back and cover his eyes."

She looked up at me and I flashed her a crook smile. The one that her heart always seemed to react to the most.

"Crawl up little spider monkey," I teased.

Once she was on my back nice and comfortably strapped onto my back, she clamped her hands over my eyes and kissed my neck, resting her head there. I wondered how it must've felt for her, being picky-back on a vampires back.

I could hear Alice running to get something, she was shuffling through my room.

_Hmm. . .which one? The blue one, or maybe the grey. . .Shoot, I should've asked Bella. . ._

I was confused at what she was talking about, and turned my attention to the warm body pressing against my back.

"Am I going to enjoy this surprise?" I whispered into her ear.

"Don't tell him anything, Bella!" Alice called from upstairs.

I felt her smile against my skin.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll love it."

"May I ask what occasion you're dressed for?" I asked casually, though the question was really burning to be answered.

"Nope," She laughed. "Alice'll bite my head off."

I growled. "Let's see her try."

"Oh be patient!" she laughed. "How was your day with Emmett?"

I became tense. I had completely forgotten my horrid day until she brought it up.

"Er, I'd rather not talk about that," I said through my clenched teeth. That was deffinately not something that I wanted to talk about right now. This moment was great, I didn't want it ruined.

She giggled, and I grimaced at her.

I could hear Alice coming back down the stairs.

"Okay Edward," she instructed. "I'm going to take your hand and lead you to where we're going since you can't see." She turned to glare at Bella. "You better not let him cheat."

"Scout's honor Alice," She smirked.

We ran through the forest slower than normal, since I couldn't see. I hardly saw the point of the surprise since it wasn't even for me, and everyone else already knew about it. Heck, for all I knew, Emmett even knew about it!

"Okay, slow down a little, Bella keep his eyes closed," Alice instructed. The sun was setting, and I knew it must be getting a little cold for Bella. Especially in what she was wearing, though it'd kill me if she changed.

I heard the sound of a small waterfall nearby. Odd, I didn't think we were anywhere near the river.

I knew that Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, and Jasper were all here because I could hear their thoughts. I wondered where Emmett was.

"Alright, open them up Edward!" Alice shouted.

They were all lounging in what looked like a huge hottub. It was at least the size to fit 20 people, and there were built in waterfalls and fountains all over the place. I suddenly realized why Bella was dressed the way she was.

They were all looking at me, waiting for my reaction.

"A hot tub?" I asked warily. Out of all the times my family had decided to be random, this was deffinately one of the more bizarre times.

I let Bella climb down off my back and she took my hand and stood next to me.

"Uh-huh!" Alice nodded, flowing with excitement. "It feels AMAZING on our skin Ed, plus we thought we needed something new. Esme did all the modeling, along with my help of course."

I looked at her confused. Boy, why was I so slow today? I didn't say anything, I just kept staring.

"Really, it does feel good on our skin. The heated water you know?" She was waving her hand in front of my face and I quick snapped out of the daze I was in.

"I don't have trunks," I told her, cursing in my head for my unavailabilty to figure this one out before it happened. I mean really, it was pretty obvious.

She grabbed her suit out of the bag she was carrying, then tossed me mine. That's what she meant earlier about 'the red one or the blue one'.

I nodded and ran into the forest to put it on. I was back in 5 seconds, and Bella was already climbing down some stone steps into the water. She had her hand on the railing so she wouldn't fall. Typical Bella. I was at her side in a flash, holding out my hand for her to join me.

We walked over near where Carlisle and Esme were sitting, and I sat down on the ledge and pulled Bella onto my lap.

Alice was right, the warm water felt unbelievable to my skin. Who would have known?

We were all peacefully talking amongst ourselves for a good half hour when we were rudely inturrupted.

"Whooo! Cannonball!" Emmett yelled, running straight for the hot tub.

"Emmett NO!-" We all shouted at the same time, but it was too late.

He jumped right to the center, causing everyone to be soked, hair and all. And, he took out about half it's water in the process, leaving a huge tent in the bottom of the pool where he landed.

_I swear, if he wrecked anything, so help me I will. . ._ Esme was thinking. I'd never really heard Esme get violent before. It might be interesting.

Bella was ringing out her soaked hair, and coughing from the water getting into her lungs. I was furious at Emmett.

"You know what Emmett?" I growled. "Go and jump off a cliff!"

Everyone was surprised at my hostility. I didn't care, if they would have been in my place today, they would've felt the exact same way.

"Fine!" Emmett smikred. "It won't do any damage though!" He said smugly.

"I'll be just like Bella!" He yelled right before he took off. Bella stiffened.

We were all glaring at Rosalie, who was banging her head against the corner.

"Why'd you do that?" She asked me, suddenly defending Emmett.

I shrugged. "He set himself up for that one."

"Yeah right," She sighed. "Now I'm going to have to go find him!"

"Psht. Like he's actually going!" Jasper laughed.

I shook my head. "You think I'm kidding? Hah, oh he's going to find a cliff all right. He was a hundred percent serious."

"Awww man!" Rose groaned. Alice and Bella giggled.

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	5. A Delicious Snack

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It was getting late and I could tell Bella was getting tired. She nuzzled her face up against my chest and rested it there. Esme and Carlisle were sitting close by, hand in hand, talking quietly, and Alice in Jasper were also holding hands while in a silent arguement.

"Come on Al, you know it's not fair!" Jasper was yelling in a whisper.

_She always knows what I'm getting her for an aniversary gift. I want this year to be really special, so can't she go somewhere a little while? _He turned to look at me. _Any help Edward?_

I nodded slightly, and mouthed, "We'll talk later," to him.

He sighed in relief and went back with arguing to Alice.

Still no sign of Emmett. Odd.

I would need to carry Bella back to the house soon, though I could just carry her back while she was sleeping. I didn't want to leave just yet. Not only because the water felt so good, but also because of the electricity that went through my skin and the feeling I got whenever Bella would touch me. It was an incredible feeling, the most amazing in my life. Better than human blood.

I spoke too soon. All of a sudden Emmett appeared out of no where. Rose was instantally relieved. Me, not so much. His clothes were shattered, and dirt-stained.

"What. The. Hell," Jasper sigh, than hung his head and shook it. "Really Em?"

Alice stiffled back a giggle.

_Are you happy now Edward?_ He glared at me.

"What took you so long?" I grinned. Bella stirred in my lap, ah, she was sleeping after all.

"Well Edward, if you must know," He said, crossing his arms over his chest and tapping his foot. "There isn't really a cliff near by. . .and it was just so fun I had to do it twice!"

"Twice?" Carlisle asked concerned.

"Whoooo! Adrenaline rush!" Emmett cheered, "Lezzz do it again!"

Rose got up and grabbed his arm before he took off. "No Emmett," She said sturnly. "God, I feel like your mother," She sighed.

"You know you're much hotter than my mother ever was, babe!"

_He's comparing ME, with his MOM know? What did you do to him Edward. . .?_

I put my hands up in innocence, that woke up Bella.

"Sorry love," I muttered in her ear.

"Wha?" She wasn't able to comprehend everything that went on while she was out.

"I'll explain later," I whispered.

Emmett was suddenly gone and back in a second with his hands behind his back.

Oh dear god.

"Care to explain Edward?" Emmett said, stuck-up.

Everyone looked at us both in confusement. Only _I_ knew what was behind Emmett's back.

"Uhh, yeah, while you sort of ran of Em, and you kind of left him here. Not my fault he ran away on me!" I defended myself. Alice realized what this was about and smirked. Jasper look at her puzzling, then back to me.

"Mmhmm, likely story," Emmett pressed, still tapping his foot annoyed.

"Will someone _please_ explain what's going on?!" Jasper suddenly yelled.

"Well," I gritted through my teeth. "Emmett got Bella a little present." I glared at him.

_Hey, I told you that you should have got her something too. But nooooo, I even offered to let you give her Mr. Java Bean, but of course not!_

"A present?" Bella gulped. Perfect, this was just the response I wanted from her.

Emmett grinned and shook his and removed his hands from behind his back and held out the repulsive thing.

_That is, the ugliest dog I've ever seen in my life,_ Esme thought. _What'd he do, take it cliff diving with him too?_

"Thank you!" I told her, glad I wasn't the only one who saw that. I was now waiting for Bella's response, praying for what I hoped she'd do next. She probably wouldn't though, seeing as she always surprises me.

"Er. . .thanks Emmett?" She was puzzled, and held out her hands. "I've always wanted a dog?" She looked up at me to see if that was the right answer. I franitcally shook my head a _no_.

"Hah!" Emmett yelled to me. "I TOLD YOU!" He smirked.

I looked over at Jasper and he had longing in his eyes.

_How could something so little, smell so delicious?_

"Do it." I whispered, urging him.

Jasper suddenly sprang towards Emmett's out-stretched hands with Java in it, though his reflexes were too quick and he was suddenly shielding his whole body around the dog before Jasper could touch it.

"Damn," I muttered under my breath.

"Do not, touch this dog," Emmett took a minute to glare at each one of our faces.

He held it out for Bella to take it. She hesitantly took it in her arms and petted it's head awkwardly. Wow, Jasper was right, the dog did smell surprisingly good. I heard that everyone in my family thought that as well. I controlled my thirst though, not wanting to lose control in front of Bella, though hoping someone else would. Jasper was already planning his next tactics.

"So," Bella asked, after a few more minutes of awkward silence. "What's it's name?"

"_His_ name is Mr. Java Bean," He told us all proudly.

"Mr. Wha?" Hah, she had the same look as Rose first did.

"Don't!" Rosalie and I both shouted at the same time. Aw, she must have heard the story too. I smiled smugly at her.

_You have no idea_, She thought, shaking her head in self-pity. Poor Rosalie. Wow, I was feeling more sorry for her today then I ever had in my life. Odd.

Emmett took a deep breath. "Well!...."

Bella cut him off, thankfully. I don't think I had the restrainment listen through _that_ one ever again. "No no," she reassured urgently. "It's okay. It's a lovely name Emmett, thanks so much, I love it." Ok, sure Bella was beginning to become an okay liar, but surely even _Emmett_ could even hear the lie in her voice. Why did she have to be so polite to my family?

"Can I perhaps see the dog?" Jasper asked, with deep longing in his voice which was hidden well.

She looked at me to make sure that was okay. I nodded my head vigorously.

"Sure Jasper," she told, handing the dog over to him.

"Such a cute puppy," Jasper cooed, petting his head lightly. I was impatient for him to get on with it. "Very cute puppy," He leaned forward, making it look like he was going to kiss it's head. Yes, do it, do it! I was thinking evily.

It took Emmett a fraction of a second to realize what he was about to do.

_Oh hell no!_

"Oh no you don't!" Emmett snagged the dog right out of Jazz's hand like lightening. Bella pretended to look offended by what Jasper just did, but she wasn't fooling anyone. She could hardly contain her chuckle.

Jasper got a dissapointed look on his face and went back to sit down next to Alice.

"We'll go hunting later, kay?" She told him.

"Uh-uh, crossed the line there Jasper," Emmett scolded.

"I was thirsty?"

"Yep. Likely story." He turned and put his hand on Bella's shoulder, he set the dog back in her surprised arms. "I'll do whatever it takes to make you safe again Mr. Java Bean." He looked at Bella seriously. "I will not let anyone harm your dog." He promised.

"Emmett!" I hissed at him angrily. "It only works when I say it to Bella!"

He stuck out his tongue at me and turned back to Bella. "I will not let anyone harm your dog." He repeated himself, promising her again.

I continued to growl at him.

"What?" He asked innocently. "It's not like you have it trademarked or anything."

I gave him a cold stare. He took the dog back from Bella and nuzzled it against his chest.

". . .And so the lion fell in love with the lamb," Emmett murmured. He, did NOT just do that. My chest was puffing with anger. Rose beat me to the bunch though.

"What does that make me?" Rose asked angrily.

_Oh damn. Uh, what to say, what to say. . ._

"What do you want to be?" He asked puzzled.

"A pig," she responded sarcastically. Only Emmett would not hear the burning sarcasm in her voice.

"Alright! You can be the pig then!" He responded joyfully. If it was possible, fire would have been coming out of her ears right now.

We all stared at him in disbelief.

"I can go on all night if you want guys!" He threatened.

"Oh dear," Esme murmured.

Bella did a very convincing fake yawn, actually, it probably was real, but I praised her for it anyways.

"Actually Emmett," she yawned. "As tempting as that sounds, I'm _really_ tired," She quicked winked at me. "Maybe in the morning. I trust that you'll take good care of Mr. Coffee Bean." She added.

"_Java_," Emmett groaned.

_I'm kinda getting the impression that she's not really tired. . ._

You think Emmett?! I didn't say it, though I wish I would've.

We said our good nights to the family and instead of putting her on my back like normal, I just kept her him my arms. As I turned around to start running I heard Emmett practically purring to the damn dog.

"Do I dazzle you Mr. Java Bean?" He asked louder then nessacary.

How the hell did he even know about that, let alone remember?

"I'm going to rip his throat out tomorrow. Along with that dog. _Your_ dog. You know, you could have flat out told him you hated it." I told her as we ran trough the still forest.

She shrugged. "It's not _that_ bad. I kind of have always wanted a dog. . ."

I threw my head back and laughed.

"Why didn't you tell me that? I could have gotten one for you ages ago, and a cute one for that matter! Honestly Bella, have you seen the thing? Are your eyes _that _bad?"

She gave me a hesitated look then shrugged again.

I moaned eternally. She _did_ like the dog, just as I hoped she did not.

She chuckled under her breath. Emmett was wearing off on her, just like Rose had been wearing off on Emmett. I took a mental note to remind myself to not have her around my family as much anymore.

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	6. Jaspers Secret

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In the next week, Emmett made it his top priority to get Bella and the rest of the family to like him more. It wasn't go so well. Speaking of which, today he had just about everybody ready to rip his limbs off. . .

"Aww come on guys," Emmett pleaded. "Just tell me how they look and I'll take them off!"

I was in the other room. Did I even want to go into the living room to see what he had on? No, no I didn't. Bella was curious though, so she took my hand and pulled me.

_Oh god. . ._

_He cannot be serious!_

_Should of stopped after Edward. . ._

Everyone's thoughts seemed to be in unison. This really had me curious now.

I took a deep breath before we reached the living room. We walked in and Bella instantly started giggling.

Oh. My. Dear. Jesus.

He had on a Christmas sweater, for starters. . .and it was March, so that wasn't the only thing off about all of this, it was probably back from 1940's in his youth as well, so it was just a tad bit small. . .and hideous. He also had on some very, _very_ tight biker shorts. _The shortest kind he could find,_ I imagined. Someone must've told him it was the new fashion trend. And, you know Emmett, always trying to 'fit in', no matter how ridiculous. I probably could have told him wearing dishrags was in, and he would have done it. . .But, did everybody really want to see him in _only_ dishrags? I shuddered at the possibility.

I scanned over him again, making sure there wasn't anything else goofy about his already silly outfit. I checked his feet; he had on flip-flops. Oh great, now it was a 'Christmas-in-the-summer-but-really-the-spring' theme. Then, I stopped my eyes and zeroed them in on the moving blanket beside him. It was squirming and wiggling, whatever was underneath it and-. . .Oh, realization suddenly dawned on me. He reached down to pull off the blanket, revieling Bean, in a clone outfit of Emmett's. Right down to the flip-flops.

_Why, why, why?!_

Rose was thinking to herself. The self-pity there was very strong. I didn't blame her, I had to have a little simpathy for her. She _did_ marry Emmett after all. Tough break.

"For cryin' out loud Em, make up your mind!" Alice shrieked, putting her face in her hands and moaning. His sense of fashion was killing her. "Is it summer, or is it Christmas?! And are you a biker, or a freaking baker?" She cried, referring to the random chef's hat that he had on his head.

"Uh, son?" Carlisle asked warily. "We don't eat. . .if you didn't remember. So your plans for cooking, just went down the drain. . .and yeah. . ."

_Damn! That totally slipped my mind. . .Oh well, I can always make dinner for JUST Bella. I'm sure she'd appreciate it. . ._

"How can you forget!?" I suddenly burst out. "You haven't aten a single meal in 80 damn years! How the hell do you forget that we don't eat food?"

That made Bella giggle even more. It wasn't supposed to be funny, but her response was egging Emmett on. He ignored my comment and responded to Jasper's disgusted facial expression with what he was wearing.

"Awww, come on Jazz," Emmett sighed, fanning himself. "You _know_ you've wanted me before." He grinned.

Jasper instinctively flinched, and I saw parts of images that I rather would have burned myself alive than see. He was hiding them well though. I didn't want to see, or know anything more about what I just saw. At all.

"I have drawn a very tight veil over that night Emmett." Jasper said curtly, glaring at Emmett.

Bella giggled again, and this really got Emmett going.

"You know, in a guys opinion, you are pretty man-hot, dude," Emmett told him.

Rosalie let out a very loud moan.

_Why me?!_

Alice was suddenly up in Jasper's face, with a very intimidating look on her face.

_He sure as hell is gonna explain this to me. I am NOT going to be happy either way, so. . ._

Jasper was trying to calm down the atmosphere of the room very hard, but not succeeding.

"Well. . .Uh. . .Um. . .Yeah. . .I swear I can explain," Jasper assured us all, hands in the air.

Emmett had a smug look on his face.

"Enlighten us then," Bella got out between laughs.

_Oh man, I was hoping never to explain this to all of them. . .Oh well, here it goes. . ._

"Well, okay," Jasper began. "So there was this one time, about 10 years ago probably, that something was a bit wrong with my abilities. I'm not sure what it was, looking back at it, it probably was some type of animal's blood I drank or whatever, but something about my ability to control emotions was off. It was like, instead of being able to control emotions, I was forcefully pulled into whatever emotion someone felt, and I couldn't help it. . ." He paused.

Carlisle was very absorbed in the story, like always when there was new information to be researched.

"And, so, being as in I couldn't control what others were feeling. . ."

He turned to glare at Emmett, who had an all-to-innocent look on his face.

"As you can guess," Jasper sigh. "Emmett took advantage of that."

Seven angry eyes were suddenly on Emmett, who was backing up into a corner.

"Come on Rose," Alice grumbled. "Let's get outta here. Let's go shop or something."

"No, no," Rosalie assured her. "I would very much like to hear this."

_Damn it, damn it, damn it. Me and my big fat stupid mouth. . ._

"You can't blame me!" Emmett was suddenly defending himself. "I'd been away from my Rose Pedal for a really long time," He turned to beam adoringly at her. "You know things aren't right for me when you're not around."

"Awww," She smiled. "You're so full of-"

"Alright, alright," Carlisle told them. "Let's just all forget about any of this conversation."

Too late, Alice was on the floor laughing histerically. I couldn't help but join in. Jasper sunk to the ground, but not for the same reason. He moaned, and put his face in his hands. Rose joined him.

Esme, sweet, motherly, adoring Esme, couldn't even hide her silent laughs. Carlisle kept his poker-face, though only _I_ knew that he was really dying inside with humor.

After Alice sort of settled down, she turned to me. "Hey Edward," she got out between giggles. "Do you, wanna. . ." She couldn't even get the sentence out. She started up another laughing fit. "We should go hunting. Ya know, let the two love-birds have some alone time!"

Emmett smirked a little. Jasper got up and slapped him in the face.

"Oooh, guess I kinda deserved that one, huh?" He asked.

"You think?!"

"Boys!" Esme scolded them.

_Maybe it'd be a good time to round up a little Cullen family game. . ._

**So that's where I'm gonna leave it.**

**Oooooh, suspensful right?!**

**Sorry, again, it's a bit on the short side, but I want to keep you guys reading!**

**As I've said before and many times, REVIEW and let me know what you think!**

**It gets me in a good mood to keep writing.**


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